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User blog:Impatiens the Shmuck/Story Blog: The Game
Okay, this blog is a rewrite of a record of a one-hour roleplay chat me and Kclar had. The plot of this roleplay chapter is that Kclar has captured the Black Hazmat from Dark, and Impatiens has joined her to help the Black Hazmat suffer even more with his manic ramblings. After this chat finished, the story continued with Imp, Craz and Luna (as well as a cameo by Kazoo von Nooty Noot). Unfortunately, this second iteration was not recorded by copy/paste, so it was lost forever. Here is the original roleplay, formatted so everything is in order. *The roleplay begins with Kclar establishing the premise, with Impatiens jokingly referring to an unseen character he knows* Kclar: The Black Hazmat...has been captured by me. This.... Impatiens: ...is the story of how I killed Ranblerabblemackenhauser, or just Mackenhauser for short, or Mack/Mac/Mak/M-Diddly-Dog or just "M". Kclar: M? M&Ms? Impatiens: Mack, Myself, and Mister Noodle. BlackHazmat: I wonder if I jump hard enough I might be able to kill myself.... Impatiens: You'll just find Mack, the poor fellow. He's suicidal, yet immortal. Kclar: The poor fellow... Impatiens: I was joking about killing him. He's still very much alive. We also have N. Bricky, a sheet-poltergheist who wears a mutated ram's skull as a face. Kclar: Yay! BlackHazmat: *crying* Impatiens: And Nimblethumper, a giant centipede... BlackHazmat: Will you two stop? Kclar: Stop what? You rude Hazzie... Impatiens: .....as well as some other marvelous creatures from PyscheMindStutterBarracudaBait, the world inside my brain: A Duck-Dog, A Quackeroo, A Hompf, A Snoo, and a rather demented Jibboo. BlackHazmat: Stop this gibberish now... Impatiens: Read some Doctor Seuss, you zuzz. Kclar: Yea! Read Doctor Seuss, ye zuzz! Impatiens: We also play Ring the Gack whenever possible! We also have that manatee thing, Clark! Kclar: I'll go get some fishing hooks! *she leaves temporarily* Impatiens: I've also come into possession of the Paraphernilia Wagon, which contains the colorful-nightmare-inducing-pandora's-box show of the Unhuman Race!! BlackHazmat: Why does that retard need fishing hooks? Impatiens: Oi! Rude! So, as I was saying, the Beaked Ghouls are a very dance-loving group, so be sure to visit them and their violin-playing Mushroom Sheet... BlackHazmat: What? She is a retard! A huge retard! Kclar: *returns, takes off hazmat's helmet and smacks him in the face* How dare you call me a retard? YOU'RE A RETARD!!! Impatiens: Calm down, both of you! Don't be like the fussy VexBird, or the raging MouthBeast! Kclar: Alright, I've found some fishing hooks. BlackHazmat: What....are you going to do with those? Impatiens: Hmmm...Please catch the Lake Lumps. They always harass me when I go fishing for hat-wearing fish to be my friends. Also, watch out for purple Hakken-Kracks. They're the most pretentious Seussical in PyscheMindStutterBarracudaBait. Kclar: No, silly! *she giggles and jams a hook into BlackHazmat's lips.* BlackHazmat: *yells in pain* Kclar: It's for a......'game'. Impatiens: Ouch. Kclar: In the game, we each take turns asking him questions. He has five seconds to answer. If he answers incorrectly, we yank a hook. If he answers correctly, we don't. Impatiens: I like this game. Mind if I fetch the Squigglers? Or the Yarg-Face? Or the BlueBulbs? Or the Yops, or the Glob-Pops? Kclar: I'll go first. What's 2 plus 2? BlackHazmat: F-Four! Impatiens: Correct! My turn! Who is the punny skeleton everybody loves? Kclar: *giggles* You have five seconds. BlackHazmat: Ehh, Sans? Impatiens: Correct! Kclar: Hazzie, how old am I? BlackHazmat: ...15? Kclar: *smirks and tugs hard on the hook, causing a piece of skin on hazmat's lip to break off.* Wrong! I'm 16. Impatiens: What have I got in my pockets? BlackHazmat: Um, I dunno.. Impatiens: GUESS BlackHazmat: Money? Impatiens: Wrong! It was Wiggentree bark! Kclar: *yanks the hook* Impatiens: *grins with semi-sadistic delight* Kclar: Tsk tsk tsk, two wrong answers. I'll give you an easy one. How many pieces of toast do you put in a toaster? BlackHazmat: Two Kclar: *pulls hook again* You don't put toast in a toaster! You put BREAD in! Impatiens: How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? BlackHazmat: Ten? Impatiens: Eh, I'll give you that one. To be honest, I don't know the answer either. One of life's greatest mysteries... Kclar: *XD* There's a single-story house where everything is blue: the walls, the stairs, the door....what color is the roof? BlackHazmat: Blue? Kclar: What color is the table? BlackHazmat: Blue Kclar: What color are the stairs? BlackHazmat: Blu--*Kclar yanks the hook* Kclar: There are no stairs. Impatiens: *laughs* Alright, dark one. You were a child once, were you not? BlackHazmat: Yes... Impatiens: So you should know the answer to my question: Describe the life of Solomon Grundy. BlackHazmat: *hangs his head in defeat* ImpatiensL *grabs the hook* Solomon Grundy, Born on a Monday. *yank* Christened on a Tuesday. *yank* Married on a Wednesday. *yank* Took ill on a Thursday. *yank* Worse on Friday. *yank* Died on Saturday. *yank* Buried on Sunday. *final massive tug* This is the end of Solomon Grundy. Impatiens: Kclar, should we continue? Or shall we play a new game? Kclar: One more question. Hazzie, after you played this game, do you find yourself a....better person? *''After that final line, Kclar had to leave the chat, and we continued the roleplay the next day, but I didn't save it, unfortunately.*'' Category:Blog posts